Thursday, July 28, 2005

i'm starting work tml!!! its confirmed! i dunno wat to feel about it... i'm sad and happy at the same time... i mean i finally got a job but i'll have so little time left... but luckily onli on weekdays... so i still can spend time with dear...

i'm trying to get use to my new shoe... the pointed one... i have no trouble with the sneakers... i hope it dosent give me any trouble... i hope i can get along with the ppl there... i'm kinda anti social noe... claire wont be coming in till 6 ... i'm starting at 3... i also hope i get use to it... its quite scary... i dunno... a whole new environment... i'm not good at it... dats why my limited amount of frens...

even in my new school... i only talk to afew ppl... and its onli when they come and talk to me... if not i'll only talk to dear's sister... and she's so much better @ talking to ppl... so dats why ppl talk to me... if not for her... i'll be like.... *a**y... -_-" i really feel like saying her name but i scared its too bad... she's in 4n2!!!

so back to the phobia... i tried teaching myself to "smile more" ... so i tried... its REALLY difficult... each time i see somebody new... in my head i'll be thinking "MUST SMILE! SAY HI or something!" its very stressful u know... but what to do.. if not ppl will think that i'm stuck up... i'm just SHY... anti-social... i hope i change the habit...

i really need to learn how to talk to ppl... its crucial... esp in this line... even when the boss interviewed me he said i need to be more out going... so hard to do...

URGH! i'm only talkative when i'm with really close frens, my family and dear... really very comfortable with him... go totally crazy... like dig my nose or fart in the middle of the night... its just crazy lah... he'll just make fun of me and den we'll just laugh it off...

hai... I WANNA BE MORE TALKATIVE!!! is there any class for it?

not the first; not the last; & probably not the best 1:58:00 PM